I am taking a few days off from running as I have an angry left hamstring (it’s been angry since April and I have chosen to ignore it) and I seem to have picked up a bug, likely from two nights in a row of less than six hours of sleep and being around sick people.
In light of that I thought it would be an ideal time to have a guest blogger, the guest being Kobi. Now because we humans love to anthropomorphize (that was a mouthful and took a few tries with spell check) everything that isn’t human, I am going to write how I think Kobi experiences the world on a walk or a run, but in English.
Here’s how it begins….
Where’s the human? Oh wait a minute, there she is. Is she wearing shorts or those tight short pants? Nope, we’re not going for a long fast adventure then, hmmm, what is she doing? She’s going downstairs, I must follow as fast as possible as she might be trying to leave without me. She’s putting the big black collar on me, OMG, I am so excited, that means we’re going on an adventure! (Translation – e collar).
I want outside now, now, now, let me out first, I must get outside first. Let me out, let me out, let me out now!!
We’re outside…I must run as fast as possible down the driveway. I must get there first. I must smell everything. Here’s a smell, oh and another, and another smell, oh wait another smell, I must follow this smell.
I think I’m hearing a word I hear often. I better run back, oh, there she is, sheesh she is so slow. Oh, I smell a squirrel, oh, I see the squirrel. I must climb this tree. I hear that same word again – sounds like K-O-B-I. I hear that a lot. I better go back.
Now she’s making me sit beside this smooth flat stretch (translation – road). Why do I have to sit? I prefer to run. I’m still sitting, hurry up, I’ve been sitting for hours (translation – 2 seconds). I heard OK, I must run fast. Oh, I smell a bear, I smell dogs, I smell a million smells and I must smell them all.
Wait, now I hear something. I must chase this sound, I hate this sound. Why is my neck buzzing? Huh? Oh, I hear that word again (translation – Kobi wanting to race a truck but distracted by the e collar and her name). I love to run, run, run, and smell everything.
Gotta poop, gotta poop, gotta poop. This spot isn’t good, this isn’t good either. Maybe if I spin around a bit, nope, maybe I’ll turn this way, nope, not good either. I’ll move over here and spin around a few times. Ah yes, this is good. I POOPED!
Now I must run again, run and smell and smell. Yikes, what is that? Maybe if I look really big and bark it will retreat (translation – hackles are up). Where is the human? I need her to take control of this situation. I’m freaking out here! Finally, she has taken control and is standing on the alien. I can proceed now and investigate and kill the alien, kill the alien (translation – large pink plastic wrapper from house insulation on the trail at first scared Kobi, but then she grabbed it, shook it and ran with it until it was dead).
We’ve turned around now. What smell did I miss? Did I miss this smell? There is the alien again, whatever, boring. Oh, I think I smell a mouse. I smell something here…bear poo, I must pee on it.
Must run after that loud noise (translation – another vehicle goes by). Why is my neck buzzing? I hear that word again (translation – Kobi, come here). I better run back to her. Why do I have to sit and wait again. I hate waiting, it takes forever!!! Yawn. Translation – waiting to cross the road again. I heard OK, now I can run again, yaaaay. Oh, I see one of those black things in the air, I hate those things. I must chase it and catch it (translation – raven).
I don’t want to go inside, I want you to throw sticks and chase me. PLEASE! PRETTY PLEASE! Translation – cute brown eyes staring up at me. Ah ha! Works every time! She’s throwing the stick now. I got it first and no one can ever have this stick back from me. Just try to catch me!! I must run fast, as fast as I can around and around the yard. The human runs so slow she’ll never catch me.
Okay, I’m ready to go inside now. Where’s my dinner?
If we were on a run instead of a walk, imagine the above, but 10x longer. Dogs are just so much fun.